Meeting Emily Prentiss
by 741N73D 4N63L
Summary: JJ, Penelope and Emily have a girls' night. JJ's little sister meets Emily. Sequel to Meeting Aaron Hotchner.
1. Meeting Emily

AN: This is a companion piece to Black Cat, you should read that one first. One more chapter will follow. Please read and review :) Translation included at the bottom of the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage.

- Saint Augustine

November 24, 2006

I am in my fourth semester of University, thank goodness for summer classes, and Jen's team is finally coming home. I have spent the past week while they were away, living on Penelope's couch when not in class. I miss my big sister almost as much as I miss my bed. Don't get me wrong; I adore Penny but sleeping on someone's couch for a week while trying to write several end of semester essays is not my idea of fun.

Jen and the team are flying home this afternoon. Jen called, she wants to bring her new teammate Emily to girls' night with Penelope at our place. It's going to be weird, for the past fifteen months, girls' night has just been Jen, Penny and myself. Elle was never very interested in joining us. I wonder what the new girl is like; I haven't met her yet because the team is only on their third assignment with her.

I wonder what Jen will say to her about me, or if she'll say anything at all. I've been doing well, hardly any panic attacks recently. The rest of Jen's team, my family, knows what to do when I panic. This new Emily person won't. What if Jen didn't say anything and I have a panic attack, I would be so embarrassed afterwards. Okay. I need to stop thinking like this. I'm going to be fine. The four of us are going to eat pizza and watch movies; it's not a big deal.

Penelope drives me home in her car, Esther. We stop to rent a couple of movies on the way. Pizza cannot be ordered until we know what this mysterious Emily likes to eat. I let Penny and myself inside, and then I open all the windows to air out the apartment. It smells musty, being locked up tight for a week created the irritating smell. Penny and I do a quick cleanup while we wait for Jen to come home. I wonder if Jen will let me stay home alone when she's away for work after I turn eighteen, probably not.

When Jen finally shows up with Emily in tow, she looks exhausted. I hug Jen tightly and with one arm still wrapped around my waist, she introduces me to Emily. Emily's eyes look just as nervous as I feel, but she swallows and greets me genially. I think I'm going to like her.

Jen, Emily and Penelope drink wine with their vegetarian pizza and I have a Dr. Pepper with my cheese-less Hawaiian. I'm glad there is enough space for the four of us to sit down and watch a movie. Emily and Penny are both sitting in armchairs, well out of reach from where I'm curled up on the couch with Jen. My sister makes a great pillow.

I'm sure I fell asleep because the last thing I remember before Jen waking me up was Magneto moving the Golden Gate bridge for access to Alcatraz. With my half-asleep brain, I am grateful that Jen doesn't scare me when she wakes me up. Screaming at two o'clock in the morning would not be appreciated by any of our neighbours. Jen tells me that Emily and Penelope are staying over because it is very late and everyone is exhausted. Penelope is already asleep in my bed. Jen wants me to get up so that Emily can have the pullout couch and I can sleep in Jen's room.

I brush my teeth and pull on my pajamas before I crawl into Jen's bed. She is already asleep. I wake up gasping for breath. Once I have calmed down a bit, I roll over to look at the alarm clock, 7 am. Yuck. It is way too early to be awake on a Saturday. My stomach's grumbling reminds me that I was so busy writing my papers yesterday that I only had dinner, oops. I get out of bed carefully so as not to wake Jen and silently walk down the hall to the kitchen. I don't want to wake anyone up. I can see Penelope asleep in my bed, one arm hanging of the edge. I take a quick peek at Emily as I'm walking by, she is also still asleep, and I stifle a giggle, because her long dark hair is everywhere.

I grab two pieces of pizza out of the fridge and put them on a plate. I want water so I reach for a glass but it is too high up. I curse my shortness for a minute before climbing up onto the counter to get the glass. I guess I'm still not quite awake because my reflexes suck, the glass falls and shatters on the kitchen tiles. Now I'm annoyed, I'm not even wearing slippers. I walk along the counter, careful where I put my feet. Once I am far enough away from the shattered glass, I hop down onto the floor in the living room.

I must have made a lot of noise because Emily wakes up, falls out of the bed and starts swearing in French. I look at her for a second before I burst out laughing. Covering my mouth with both hands, I try to get my laughter under control. I approach her cautiously "Emily, t'est correct?" I ask quietly.

"Ma tête" she answers with a pained groan, holding her head in both hands.

"Veut-tu de la glace pour ta tête?" I ask her, trying to remember if I put the ice packs back into the freezer yesterday.

"Oui s'il te plaît." She looks up at me curiously. "I didn't know you spoke French."

"I learned it in school," I answer shifting my weight nervously. I had gotten rather close to her in my concern and now I was unsure how to back away without seeming rude. I blush, embarrassed, "I'll uh, I'll go get you some ice. It might take a few minutes, I uh dropped a glass." I leave before she has a chance to say anything else.

When I finally find my shoes and the broom to clean up with, Emily is sitting at the breakfast bar, head in her hands. I feel really bad for waking her, which resulted in her injury, so I get her the icepack and some Tylenol before I start cleaning up. When I'm finished cleaning up she seems to be feeling a bit better, the ice and Tylenol must be working. Emily starts asking me questions, nothing invasive or very personal, mostly just about school and books that I've read. It is nice, after a while, I feel comfortable enough to sit on the stool next to her at the breakfast bar. I trust my instincts and my instincts say that I can trust Emily.

Jen found us just after nine; we were still talking about school in French. It is nice to have someone to practice with outside of class. Jen sends me back to her bedroom to get ready for the day. I know she means well but I feel like a little kid when she does things like that. I am tempted to crawl back into bed because I am still very tired but Jen is going to make breakfast and I'm hungry again, I shared my pizza with Emily.

Penny must be in the shower; I can hear the water running. I am tempted to flush the toilet just to hear her shriek just like she did to me last time. Revenge is a glorious thing. I won't flush the toilet on her though, because I like being able to pay for school and her computer abilities know no bounds.

I can hear Jen and Emily talking in the kitchen. I don't know what they are talking about because I cannot make out the words, but I recognize the voices. I hope Jen makes blueberry pancakes for breakfast. They're my favorite and it is what we usually have for breakfast when Jen is home.

Today is going to be a lazy day I hope. I only have to proofread my essays one more time and then I can hand them in to my professors on Monday. Classes finish in two weeks and then I have a few exams to write. I'm so excited about being finished and for Christmas. Jen gets time off for the Holidays. Spencer and Penelope are coming over again this year. I know that Derek will be going home to his mother and sisters. Aaron will be spending time with Haley and Jack and Jason will be going back to his cabin. I wonder what Emily will be doing this year. Does she have a family? I didn't think to ask her before.

Jen knocks on the door as I'm pulling on my sweater to let me know that breakfast is ready. I put my feet back into my slippers and walk calmly down the hallway. The smell of pancakes brings a smile to my face. Emily, Penny and Jen are already sitting down at our small table. The pancakes are wonderful.

Penny leaves after breakfast and I wash the dishes with Emily while Jen tidies up the living room. Having Emily standing so close to me while drying the dishes is making me nervous. I'm sure my body language is practically screaming my discomfort because Emily takes a step back and two to the left, just out of arms reach.

My relief must be palpable because she half turns to me and says in a low voice "Je ne vous blesserai pas."

I fidget uncomfortably "I know that you won't hurt me."

"But do you believe it?" she pushes.

I shrug, "I don't know you."

"Would you like to?" She asks gently. "We did have a rather nice conversation earlier today."

I peek up at her through my bangs, "I think so."

She laughs, "I guess that's better than a straight up no."

Jen comes back when she hears Emily laugh, "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing Jen." I answer without turning around.

"Sure." She says. I know that tone of voice, a raised eyebrow and further pushing for answers usually accompany it, but she lets it go this time. It must have something to do with Emily's presence. I am thankful for a split second before I remember that Emily is leaving soon and Jen will have all the time in the world to push me for answers.

Jen goes over to the fridge, grocery list in hand. "Kitty Cat, do you want to come grocery shopping with me?"

This is my chance to avoid interrogation. "No Jen, I think I'm going to watch some TV, maybe work on my paper."

"Okay," Jen answers breezily.

She puts a hand on my shoulder and I flinch just a little bit. I should have turned around when Jen came into the kitchen. Then I wouldn't have been surprised when she touched me, I would have seen it coming and reacted accordingly. I look down at the tiled floor "sorry" I mumble.

Jen takes her hand back slowly. "No need to apologize Kitty Cat. It's an ingrained, instinctual reaction. I should have made more noise or simply asked you to turn around."

I smile, "Jen you're babbling, you're starting to sound like Spence."

Jen laughs quietly and I notice Emily trying to move away inconspicuously.

"Okay I'm going out to buy groceries then go to the office for a little while, and you're staying here." Jen turns to Emily, "What are you going to do today Emily?"

"Oh, I was just going to veg and watch some TV." Emily smiles at my sister.

Jen looks at me, I know that look; it's the look that usually accompanies something that I wont necessarily like but will be 'good for me'. "Would you mind staying with Catherine for a little while?"

I have to protest, it's expected of me, "Jen, I'm sixteen and in University. I don't need a babysitter."

At the same time I'm answering, so is Emily, "Sure, I don't mind." Emily smiles and amends her answer, "I'll stay if Catherine doesn't mind." She just keeps getting higher and higher up in my good books.

Jen is looking at me expectantly. I grumble a bit before answering "Fine, she can stay."

Jen rolls her eyes at me, but she is smiling while she does it. Emily also smiles at me, but she moves away into the living room to give Jen and myself a semblance of privacy.

"I don't want to push Catherine," Jen says seriously "but I don't like it when you stay home alone."

I fold my arms across my chest, "Residual fear. I get it Jen, I really do, but I don't even know her. You could have asked Penny to stay or Spence could come over."

"You know that Penelope is spending the day with Derek and Spence is getting ready for a conference." She reminds me gently. "Emily is a good person, she's part of my team. And the team is-"

I cut her off "Family. The team is family."

She smiles, "You'll like her Kitty Cat. Maybe she'll even watch Buffy with you."

I can't help but pay attention when Jen mentions Buffy, "You sure know how to get my attention don't you Jen."

I roll my eyes when Jen says, "That's my job, and you're my sister, I'm supposed to annoy you."

I stick my tongue out at her, "I thought that was my job, I'm the little sister."

Jen opens her arms and I step in and hug her tightly. "I love you Kitty Cat."

My voice was muffled by Jen's shoulder, "Love you too Jenny."

Jen grabs her purse and car keys, and then she walks to the door. She reminds me to lock up behind her, as if I would forget. An oppressive silence sets in right after Jen leaves. I move away from the door, towards Emily who is standing in the living room, fiddling with her go bag. I wonder if she even went back to her place after the team got home yesterday, I doubt it. I know Jen always has paperwork to fill out when she gets home. Emily seems nervous and tired; I take a moment to study her while she's not paying attention to me. She's got long dark brown, almost black hair, brown eyes, pale skin, and she's really tall, definitely taller then Jen by at least a few inches. She must be able to feel my gaze because she looks up and says, "So… what do you want to do today?"

I take a deep breath before blurting out, "I was going to watch Buffy, do you want to watch with me? You don't have to, you could watch something else or we could watch something else. Or you could read or-"

She looks amused with my verbal vomit, "Sure. Which season are you watching right now?"

I smile at her, "Season two."

"How far along are you?" she questions.

"Passion, Angelus just killed Ms. Calendar."

She nods, "Ouch, I remember that episode."

I move over to the DVD player and start setting everything up. When everything is ready I turn around, expecting Emily to be sitting in the same armchair as last night. She isn't. In fact, Emily hasn't moved at all.

"Catherine" she starts and I tense slightly, I know what's coming. "I noticed that you didn't touch anyone except JJ last night and you were uncomfortable when she touched you first this morning." She prods gently.

My gaze is glued to the floor; I can't even look at her.

"Catherine?" she is trying to get my attention, I know she is looking for answers. "Look at me please?"

My arms are crossed over my chest, I raise my head but avoid her gaze "I don't like being touched."

She smirks, "I noticed that." Then she tilts her head and looks at me as if considering her next words. "Can I sit on the same couch as you while we watch TV?"

I fidget but consider her question with the appropriate amount of respect that it deserves. "I don't mind as long as you stay on your side." We sit down on opposite ends of the couch.

Emily tried a different tactic, "What did JJ tell you about me?"

"The team is family, and you're part of the team. So you're going to be family as well."

She smiles at me, "Okay, that's not the answer I was looking for, but it is good to know."

"I know." I answer simply.

"Then why did you tell me?" she asks, confusion is evident in her voice.

I look directly into Emily's eyes, "Because you need to know. Jen's team is family. Aaron and Jason are our parents and Penelope, Derek and Spencer are our siblings. The team is everything. You don't mess with family. If you're going to be part of the team, then you're going to be family as well."

"Seriously, what do you know about me?" she asks again.

"I haven't read your file, if that's what you're asking." I hedge.

She laughs, "I haven't read your file either."

I narrow my eyes at her "I don't have a file."

She laughs harder, "It was a joke. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. You are an only child. Your mum is Ambassador Prentiss, currently unassigned. I have no idea who your dad is. You've wanted to work at the BAU for a long time. You worked with the CIA or another agency before you joined the FBI. You attended Georgetown and Yale. You lived in several different countries growing up including Egypt, France and Italy. Oh and you like Kurt Vonnegut." I look at her face, it's stunned "Shall I continue" I smirk.

"No, that's okay. I think you've got the main points. Where did you get your information?" she still looks stunned.

I almost want to tease her about properly hiding her facial expressions but we're not close enough yet so I just raise one eyebrow "Where do you think?"

She sighs then smiles at me. "Garcia must be a very good teacher."

I don't say anything to confirm or deny what Emily has said.

"Honesty is a good policy. Shall I tell you what I know about you?"

I swallow the lump in my throat but nod.

Emily smiles at me but it is a sad smile, "Alice Catherine Jareau."

I flinch slightly at the name.

She looks at me but doesn't back down, I am almost grateful that she did not acknowledge my flinch. "Alice, of noble kin, Catherine, pure and Jareau, probably French, having something to do with a container for water or oils."

I snort, two can play that game, "Emily, to strive or excel or rival, Elizabeth, consecrated to God and Prentiss, Scholar."

"Touché." She said. "You are the youngest child of Roger and Sandy Jareau. You lived in Valencia Virginia until the death of your parents, and then you moved in here with JJ. You graduated high school early, a semester earlier than expected. You now attend university and are majoring in English and Linguistics. How am I doing so far?" she challenges. I glare at her. "I'll continue then," she says "You don't like to be touched. You are obviously somewhat afraid of me. You don't like cars and you have PTSD. When you were seven you and your best friend-"

I cut her off "Don't say her name."

"Shall I stop?"

I glance at her for a second before I have to look away. I hope she doesn't see the tears threatening to fall. "Please." It was the only word I managed to get out of my nearly closed throat.

"I'm sorry Catherine." Emily apologizes, she reaches out a hand towards me and I move away as quickly as possible.  
"No inter-team profiling." I mumble.

She scrunches her face; looking genuinely confused "You're considered part of the team? I thought you were part of the team's family-"

"Why don't you ask Derek?" I glare at her.

She raises her hands in defeat, "Catherine I believe you. This is just a little weird for me. I have never been part of a team like this before. You're part of the team, but you don't go out on cases and you don't have any clearance as far as I can tell. I'm sorry Catherine."

I smile at her, "At least you're getting my name right."

"How can I make it up to you?" she asks.

"Watch Buffy with me, all seven seasons and then all five seasons of Angel." She laughs. And I continue, "Do not ever call me Alice and don't touch me unless I touch you first. You'll get the same ground rules as the rest of the team. Jen will probably fill you in. I'm not sure why she didn't before you came over."

She tilts her head, "I'm pretty sure you mean, before I was allowed to come within twenty feet of you."

"Yes, but that is besides the point." I answer quietly.

She frowns, "Reid tried to tell me something but we were all so tired and stressed out that I didn't listen properly. I am sorry."

"You seem to be apologizing a lot, but you really should listen to Spence or Jen or anyone from the team." I smile at her to let her know she is forgiven.

"Okay, I guess we'll have to start back at season 1." She says.

"Yup." I say with a huge smile.

We get through the first two episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, season 1 before I can't stop my eyes from drooping closed. I am so worn out from last week and only getting five hours of sleep last night. When I look over at Emily, she's already asleep, and that means its safe for me to sleep as well. So tired, can't think straight.

Goodnight Moon.

- Margaret Wise Brown

French:

Catherine: Emily are you all right?

Emily: My head.

Catherine: Do you want ice for your head?

Emily: Yes please

Emily: I will not hurt you.


	2. Meeting Catherine

AN: This is the same story as chapter one but told from Emily's point of view. How is my Emily? Translation included at the bottom of the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

* * *

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

-Philip K. Dick

November 2006

Being the new girl is always awkward but I'm just so happy to finally be at the BAU. I've waited for years. This last case was brutal; I just want to go back to my apartment and sleep for a week but JJ has invited me to girls' night with her and Penelope. I am undecided, should I go to girls' night or go home and sleep? The promise of pizza and beer seals the deal. That is when JJ tells me her kid sister will be joining us. This is news to me, I know JJ has a much younger sister, JJ was checking up on her with Garcia while we were away. I didn't know that they lived together. I should have paid more attention to their conversation.

It is funny that Reid was the one to pull me aside and not JJ or Garcia. "Don't touch her." Was the first thing he blurts out after he sat down next to me in the plane.

"Don't touch who?" I ask, confused.

"Catherine, JJ's little sister. Please don't touch her and don't get within arm's distance of her."

"Okay," I say cautiously, "Why?"

He fiddles with his shirt cuff, "She's got PTSD."

My mind is spinning, "She's just a kid isn't she?" I know I shouldn't ask my next question but I do anyway, "How did a kid get PTSD?"

"She looks like a kid, but she isn't. She's sixteen, Emily." I know he's hedging. But what is he hedging about. Maybe I should look up JJ's little sister. Would that be unethical? I should see what else Reid is willing to give me before I make my decision.

I raise an eyebrow, "Okay, so she's a teenager."

"She's in University, treat her like an adult." Now that is surprising. I want to cut Reid off to ask more questions but he continues, ignoring my questioning face. "She's had a few horrible things happen so never forget that she's just a scared kid when someone gets close to her."

I ask, wanting confirmation, "Are you sure you should be telling me this?"

"JJ can't right now, everyone else is too busy or…" he trails off awkwardly.

"Or they don't trust me." I finished his thought for him. "It's okay Reid, I know our bosses don't trust me yet."

Reid gives me a very harsh look, "I am well aware that you're going to look Catherine up as soon as this conversation is over. I just don't know how high your clearance goes. Ask someone on the team for clarification if you need it, but do not under any circumstances ask Catherine."

I raise my hands in defeat "Okay, I won't ask her about whatever is in that file. But can I ask you something?"

He looks weary, "Yes."

"Why do you care what happens to your colleague's little sister?" I am genuinely confused on this point.

"Because we are family," he says, and then he rises from the chair and moves back to his game of chess with Gideon.

This is definitely something I need to think about. Did Reid mean that he, JJ and Catherine are family, or did he mean the whole team is family?

I ride with JJ back to the office to hand in the paperwork from the case that we finished on the plane. I want to go home to change and shower but JJ seems to be in a hurry to get home. She sends me an apologetic look and says "You can shower at my place if you want."

"Thank you." I say. This is so awkward, I don't really know her or the rest of the team and yet, I'm going to JJ's apartment for a girls' night. My idea of a girls' night usually includes a bar or restaurant, or shoe shopping. Although, if we are going to include JJ's sixteen-year-old sister, I guess we can't go to a bar.

The first thought that enters my mind when I see Catherine is; my goodness, she looks like she's twelve. A mini JJ for sure, but she is so very tiny, not quite five feet tall and maybe 90 pounds wearing a snowsuit and soaking wet. I notice the way JJ opens her arms to Catherine but doesn't move towards her; she waits for Catherine to hug her.

I am reminded of Reid's words about not touching her if she doesn't initiate contact. I spent some time on the plane looking up her file after I finished my paperwork but nothing I managed to get from the redacted file would explain PTSD this severe. Abuse? Well JJ doesn't display the same signs and I sincerely doubt JJ is abusing her little sister when Reid was the one to warn me. Surely the team would have noticed something if they truly are as close as they claim to be.

I say hello when JJ introduces me but I don't extend my hand. I am nervous, it is going to be difficult to remember not to get too close when I don't know what she considers too close to be. An arm's length of course, but that is a rather ambiguous form of measurement.

Garcia bounces into the living room, she seems really exited to have me around, asking what kind of pizza I want. I don't really care about what kind of pizza I eat. We end up getting two different kinds of pizza, vegetarian and Hawaiian without the cheese. It sounds really gross but Catherine seems rather happy to have an entire pizza for herself. I shower quickly while we wait for the pizza. I have to admit that the cheese-less Hawaiian does smell good, but I'm not sure about eating ham and pineapple on pizza. Does having cheese-less pizza still make it pizza? JJ, Garcia and I have wine with our pizza because JJ is out of beer.

JJ and Catherine curl up on the couch together, getting ready to watch the movies. I mirror Garcia by sitting down in one of the armchairs. We watch X-Men 1, 2, and 3. Catherine falls asleep sometime during the third movie and JJ shifts her position so that Catherine is less curled up and more stretched out on the couch.

After the movie is over, Garcia leaves the living room and goes to sleep on one of the beds down the hall. JJ offers me the pullout couch and I accept gladly. I am much too tired to consider driving home right now.

Catherine is making whimpering noises on the couch and moving around in her sleep. I hear JJ sigh and I can see her wrap her arms tightly around her sister before she tries to wake Catherine up. I wonder how exhausting it must be for JJ to live with Catherine and to constantly be aware of her actions. I wonder what it is like for Catherine to live in constant fear that someone will hurt her. I can see the terror in Catherine's face when she wakes up restrained, it is gone the next instant when she recognizes her sister. JJ sends Catherine to bed, telling her that she will be along shortly.

JJ gets sheets and blankets from the linen closet for the pullout and we make the bed together. She says good night to me but before she leaves, she asks me if I had a good time with them tonight.

I smile at her and respond in the affirmative. I really did have a nice time unwinding, watching TV and not having to think.

JJ turns to leave and abruptly turns back, "This was a good night for Catherine," she pauses, "I hope you can sleep through her nightmares if she has any." And with that she walks away.

I am stunned at the 'confession' if I can call it that. That piece of information is just another piece of the puzzle that is Catherine Jareau. I am so tired that even if Catherine has a nightmare, I doubt that I will be woken up.

I lay my head down on the pillow and the next thing I know, there is a rather loud THUMP. Startled, I tumble out of bed. Pain explodes in my head as I smack it on the end table. It is so surprising and painful that I start swearing in French. I can hear someone laughing and then someone asking me if I'm okay. "Emily, t'est correct?"

"Ma tête" I answer with a pained groan, holding my head in both hands.

"Veut-tu de la glace pour ta tête?" she asks me.

"Oui s'il te plaît." I look up at her curiously "I didn't know you spoke French."

"I learned it in school." She answers and I can hear her shifting her weight nervously. "I'll uh, I'll go get you some ice. It might take a few minutes, I uh dropped a glass." She leaves before I have a chance to say anything else to her.

I stagger through the living room, I probably look drunk, but I'm not even hung over. I sit down at the breakfast bar, holding my head in my hands. I should be grateful that I'm not bleeding; I hope I don't have a concussion. That would be really embarrassing. Catherine reappears with Tylenol and an icepack. By the time the Tylenol kicks in, Catherine has cleaned up the shattered glass and is eating a slice of cold pizza. She offers me a piece; it tastes surprisingly good.

When Catherine sits down next to me, I wonder if she considers me incapacitated and therefore less threatening or if she's just starting to trust me. We have a nice, safe conversation about school and books, no hard questions. I don't usually have a chance to speak French at work, so it is nice to have a proper conversation in French with a real person.

JJ entered the kitchen around nine; I was feeling much better, definitely no concussion, just a slight headache and a bruise. JJ is in mom mode when she sends Catherine back to her bedroom to get dressed. It's kind of funny.

JJ starts bustling around the kitchen, making breakfast. I ask her what she's making and she gives me this huge smile "Blueberry pancakes. I always make them for Catherine on Saturdays."

A routine. I wonder if it helps? How does it work when we, the team, are away over the weekend? I want to ask all those questions and more but I stop myself just in time.

Garcia sits down at the table next to me and when the pancakes are ready JJ goes off to find Catherine. There is no conversation while we eat; we are all too tired and hungry. I'm already thinking about taking a nap in my own bed when I get back to my apartment. Garcia whirls away after breakfast, leaving Catherine and I with the dishes while JJ tidies up the living room.

Catherine is washing the dishes and I'm drying them, I've forgotten about Reid's warning not to get close to her until I notice how tense she is. Her body language is screaming unease, I take a step back and two more to the left, and I'm out of arm's reach again. Catherine's body practically sags in relief when I move away. It hurts. I don't know her, but it still hurts to know that she thinks I would hurt her. She intrigues me.

I half turn towards her and says in a low voice "Je ne vous blesserai pas."

She fidgets uncomfortably "I know that you won't hurt me."

"But do you believe it?" I push.

She shrugs, "I don't know you."

"Would you like to?" I ask gently. "We did have a rather nice conversation earlier today."

Her blue eyes peek up at me through her bangs, "I think so."

I laugh, "I guess that's better than a straight up no."

Jen comes back from tidying up the living room, "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing Jen." Catherine answers without turning around.

"Sure." JJ says. I know that tone of voice; it is the kind of voice that belongs to parents. It's weird to think of JJ as a parent to this tiny teenage girl.

JJ goes over to the fridge, grocery list in hand. "Kitty Cat, do you want to come grocery shopping with me?"

Catherine answers, "No Jen, I think I'm going to watch some TV, maybe work on my paper."

"Okay," JJ answers breezily.

JJ puts a hand on Catherine's shoulder and she flinches just a little bit. Catherine looks down at the tiled floor and mumbles, "Sorry."

JJ takes her hand back slowly. "No need to apologize Kitty Cat. It's an ingrained, instinctual reaction. I should have made more noise or simply asked you to turn around."

Catherine smiles, "Jen you're babbling, you're starting to sound like Spence."

While JJ is laughing, I move quietly away from the sisters. Their dynamic is interesting but I feel like I am intruding on a private moment. I don't get very far.

"Okay I'm going out to buy groceries then go to the office for a little while, and you're staying here." JJ said and turned to me, "What are you going to do today Emily?"

I smile at JJ, "Oh, I was just going to veg and watch some TV."

JJ shoots me a considering look, then she looks pointedly at Catherine and back at me with a raised eyebrow. I think I know what's coming but I'm not sure.

"Would you mind staying with Catherine for a little while?" she asks. There it is, that trust thing again.

Catherine protests, but she doesn't once look at me, "Jen, I'm sixteen and in University. I don't need a babysitter."

I answer half a heartbeat after Catherine, "Sure, I don't mind." I smiles at Catherine and amend my answer, "I'll stay if Catherine doesn't mind."

JJ is looking at Catherine expectantly. She grumbles a bit before answering "Fine, she can stay."

I can feel the love in the room. I start backing away into the living room to give Catherine and JJ a semblance of privacy. I block out what they are saying to each other and instead pack and repack my go bag.

After JJ leaves, Catherine reenters the living room and an awkward silence sets in. I am out of my element; I don't know what to do with a sixteen-year-old girl. Give me an unsub or a perp or a victim and I know what to do. But I can't treat Catherine as a victim and she isn't a colleague either. Tired of the silence I try to start a conversation, "So… what do you want to do today?"

Catherine appears to take a deep breath before blurting out, "I was going to watch Buffy, do you want to watch with me? You don't have to, you could watch something else or we could watch something else. Or you could read or-"

The babbling is kind of cute but I cut her off before she can continue, "Sure. Which season are you watching right now?"

She actually smiles at me, "Season two."

"How far along are you?" I ask, trying to remember what happened in season two.

"Passion, Angelus just killed Ms. Calendar."

I nod, "Ouch, I remember that episode."

Catherine moves over to the DVD player and starts setting everything up. When she is finished, she turns around to look for me. She's looking at the armchair where I sat last night to watch X-Men.

"Catherine" I start and she tenses slightly, "I noticed that you didn't touch anyone except JJ last night and you were uncomfortable when she touched you first this morning." I prod as gently as possible. I really need some answers.

Her gaze is glued to the floor.

"Catherine?" I say again, trying to get her attention. "Look at me please?" I want so much to reach out and lift her chin, but I don't want to spook her.

Catherine crosses her arms across her chest; she raises her head but avoids looking at me. "I don't like being touched."

Finally a real answer, I smirk, "I noticed that." I tilt my head and looks at Catherine, considering my next words very carefully, "Can I sit on the same couch as you while we watch TV?"

She fidgets but appears to consider my question, "I don't mind as long as you stay on your side."

I nod at her and we sit down on opposite ends of the couch. It isn't anything huge, but it is progress. I try a slightly different tactic thinking that I might get better results, "What did JJ tell you about me?"

She still won't look at me but she answers my question. "The team is family, and you're part of the team. So you're going to be family as well."

I smile at her, "Okay, that's not the answer I was looking for, but it is good to know."

"I know." she answers.

"Then why did you tell me?" I ask, confused.

Catherine's piercing blue eyes look directly into mine, "Because you need to know. Jen's team is family. Aaron and Jason are our parents and Penelope, Derek and Spencer are our siblings. The team is everything. You don't mess with family. If you're going to be part of the team, then you're going to be family as well."

Okay, that certainly answers my earlier question about the team being family. It is a strange and oddly fitting idea. "Seriously, what do you know about me?" I try again.

"I haven't read your file, if that's what you're asking." She hedges.

I lie, "I haven't read your file either."

She narrows her eyes at me, "I don't have a file."

I laugh, "It was a joke. I'm sorry if I offended you."

She levels a glare at me, "Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. You are an only child. Your mum is Ambassador Prentiss, currently unassigned. I have no idea who your dad is. You've wanted to work at the BAU for a long time. You worked with the CIA or another agency before you joined the FBI. You attended Georgetown and Yale. You lived in several different countries growing up including Egypt, France and Italy. Oh and you like Kurt Vonnegut. Shall I continue?" she smirks.

I am stunned, that was more than what is in my personnel file. "No, that's okay. I think you've got the main points. Where did you get your information?"

She raises one eyebrow "Where do you think?"

I sigh and then I smile when I figure it out, "Garcia must be a very good teacher."

Catherine doesn't say anything to confirm or deny what I said.

"Honesty is a good policy. Shall I tell you what I know about you?"

She nods, looking away.

I smile at her sadly, "Alice Catherine Jareau."

She flinches slightly at the name and I consider backing down for half a second before plowing on. We need to get this over with. "Alice, of noble kin, Catherine, pure and Jareau, probably French, having something to do with a container for water or oils."

She snorts and answers back, "Emily, to strive or excel or rival, Elizabeth, consecrated to God and Prentiss, Scholar."

"Touché," I say because she is good. "You are the youngest child of Roger and Sandy Jareau. You lived in Valencia, Virginia until the death of your parents, and then you moved in here with JJ. You graduated high school early, a semester earlier than expected. You now attend university and are majoring in English and Linguistics. How am I doing so far?" I challenge her and she glares right back. "I'll continue then," I say "You don't like to be touched. You are obviously somewhat afraid of me. You don't like cars and you have PTSD. When you were seven you and your best friend-"

She cuts me off "Don't say her name."

This is the first bit of real anger, of fire in her eyes, so I offer her a get out of jail free card, "Shall I stop?"

Catherine glances at me for a second before looking away tears threatening to fall. Her "please" sounds strangled,

"I'm sorry Catherine." I apologize, and reach out a hand towards her, she moves away as quickly as possible. I feel that stabbing pain again.  
"No inter-team profiling." she mumbles.

I am genuinely confused "You're considered part of the team? I thought you were part of the team's family-"

"Why don't you ask Derek?" she glares at me.

I raise my hands in defeat, "Catherine I believe you. This is just a little weird for me. I have never been part of a team like this before. You're part of the team, but you don't go out on cases and you don't have any clearance as far as I can tell. I'm sorry Catherine."

She smiles at me, just a little one, but a smile nonetheless, "At least you're getting my name right."

"How can I make it up to you?" I ask.

"Watch Buffy with me, all seven seasons. And all five seasons of Angel."

I laugh; I can do that quite easily.

She continues, "Do not ever call me Alice and don't touch me unless I touch you first. You'll get the same ground rules as the rest of the team. Jen will probably fill you in. I'm not sure why she didn't before you came over."

I cock my head in her direction, "I'm pretty sure you mean, before I was allowed to come within twenty feet of you."

"Yes, but that is besides the point," she answers quietly.

I frown, "Reid tried to tell me something but we were all so tired and stressed out that I didn't listen properly. I am sorry."

"You seem to be apologizing a lot, but you really should listen to Spence or Jen or anyone from the team." She smiles at me and I think I'm actually being forgiven.

"Okay, I guess we'll have to start back at season 1," I say.

"Yup," She says with a huge smile.

I fall asleep during the second episode of the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have been watching Catherine instead of the show; I know all the lines anyway. Catherine looks so very happy while she's watching TV; she looks like a normal kid. The last thought that passes through my mind before I fall asleep again is: she's not broken, just a little damaged. Which is good, because damage can be healed.

* * *

**Buffy**: Does it ever get easy?

**Giles**: You mean life?

**Buffy**: Yeah. Does it get easy?

**Giles**: What do you want me to say?

**Buffy**: Lie to me.

**Giles**: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys

are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are

easily distinguished by their pointy horns or

black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them

and save the day. No one ever dies, and

everybody lives happily ever after.

**Buffy**: Liar.

- Season 2, Lie to Me, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

* * *

French:

Catherine: Emily are you all right?

Emily: My head.

Catherine: Do you want ice for your head?

Emily: Yes please.

Emily: I will not hurt you.


	3. Meeting Emily Part 2

AN: Migraines suck.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

Buffy: There is no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.

Willow: I think I'm gonna barf.

Buffy: Except that.

- Season four, Fear Itself, Buffy The Vampire Slayer

* * *

November 25, 2006

I can hear the birds outside. _You're so loud, be quiet, please. Please be quiet._ My head feels like it's going to implode from the pressure of my latest migraine. I make a valiant attempt to open my eyes and succeed for all of one second before I have to snap them shut again. The room is spinning; I think I'm going to be sick. _No, you can't throw up in the living room. Emily will think you are a baby. You will have to clean it up and Jenny will be so very upset. No throwing up. You don't have time for a migraine and you cannot be sick because finals are coming up. You have too much to do, papers to hand in and. Stop. Calm down, deep breaths. _I need to find the Advil; it's in the bathroom.

_Okay Catherine you can do this. Take it slow, one step at a time. Step 1: place your feet on the floor. Okay check. Step 2: stand up slowly, keeping your eyes covered and closed. Check, dizzy but okay. Step 3: keeping eyes closed walk slowly around the coffee table, and to the hallway; two steps to the right, three forward and thirteen steps to cross the room. Check. I guess it's a good thing I know where everything is in the apartment… now where did I leave my sunglasses? Step 4: continue to walk down the hallway towards the bathroom, nine steps; it's the only door on the left. Run your hand along the wall. Don't go too far. Check. Step 5: don't turn on the light. Take six steps inside and then four to the left. Hold onto the sink. Oh, there are my sunglasses. _I put them on quickly_. I wonder what I did with my earplugs? Step 6: don't turn on the tap, reach for the water bottle that should be right next to the sink. Please don't let Penelope or Emily have moved it. Good, it's here, open the bottle, and pour some water into your right hand, splash it onto your face. Check. Oh, that feels a little better. Step 7: find the Advil bottle, it should be in the medicine cabinet above the sink. Take a quick peek, ah, there it is. Swallow two with water from the water bottle. Check. Step 8: close the water bottle, and replace in the same spot. Then take six steps to the right, touch the bathtub. Check. Step 9: sit down slowly, reach out and lift the toilet seat but don't throw up. Check.  
_

I rest my head against the tiled wall and wait for the nausea to pass. It doesn't. All of a sudden I can feel it coming up, I lean over and expel my breakfast. I can sense that someone is directly behind me at the bathroom door. I hope it's Jen but it's probably Emily. Jen would have woken me when she arrived home. I shudder, and try to avoid or postpone the imminent panic attack. The person steps into the bathroom and moves over to the sink. I relax minimally before my ears catch up with my brain, it's not Jen it's Emily. Now I'm tense again. I can hear Emily moving things around and I want to lift my head but I'm afraid that if I move away from the toilet I wont make it back quickly enough next time. I hear the water running from the tap and it makes me flinch and cover my ears. Emily must notice my discomfort because the water is turned off two agonizing seconds later.

The footsteps come closer and I am so very uncomfortable with Emily's proximity to myself that I can actually feel the panic welling up inside me again. I don't even have to open my eyes to know that Emily sits down on the cold floor beside me. "Ça va?" she whispers.

I may just be dry heaving now but by what possible definition of that phrase could I possibly be alright? I want to glare but I don't have the necessary energy to raise my head or even narrow my eyes.  
Emily places a cool washcloth on the back of my neck. Her fingers just brush against my hair and I shiver at the contact, trying not to breathe.

We spend a while in silence. Which is nice because I don't think I can think coherently enough to carry on a conversation. I am actually getting used to her presence next to me, calming down when Emily breaks the wonderful silence. "Okay Catherine, we need to get you back to your room. Do you think you can stand?"

I shake my head and immediately regret it when both my stomach and head protest the movement.

I discern the rustling of clothes; Emily must be standing up. "Alright then, I'm going to pick you up."

My eyes snap open despite the pain and my "No!" is hoarse and panicked.

I can hear Emily sigh, it is so loud to my poor ears and head that if I didn't know better I would think that she was breathing into my ear. "Catherine," she says "we really need to get you to bed." She reaches out and touches me; I flinch and yelp quietly, tears running down my face.

Emily puts her arm under on of my arms and around my shoulders, "You'll be so much more comfortable in bed." She's starting to lift me, "You don't want to stay here in this cold bathroom do you?"  
I'm sobbing now, "No, Emmy wait. No. Please, wait. Please don't touch me."  
I am set back down on the floor. The arm is removed. Crying is making my migraine worse but I can't stop. I want Jen to come home and I want the migraine to go away but mostly I want to sleep. I guess the Advil is starting to work; it always makes me feel exhausted.

It takes me a few minutes to regain my control as it were, and once I do I feel ashamed. I don't know her very well yet but Emily is supposed to be family. I'm supposed to trust family. They are supposed to be able to touch my arms without me freaking out. Okay that last part doesn't happen, but I want it to be true. I take a deep breath and open my eyes. At some point, Emily has half shut the door and the hallway lights are off. I am as touched by this gesture as I am for the now warm washcloth resting on my neck.

"Brush teeth." I mumble, struggling to stand up on my own. I manage to haul myself up to the ledge of the bathtub before I can't move anymore.  
"Catherine I'm going to wrap one arm around your waist so that I can hold you up okay?" she asks in a low voice.  
My "Okay" is very quiet.

Emily wraps one arm around my waist and lifts me into a standing position. I take one step forward and start to crumple as my legs give out.  
"Maybe brushing your teeth isn't such a good idea." Emily suggests gently.  
"Brush teeth." I repeat. My brain isn't processing very well.  
"What about gargling? Do you have mouth wash?"  
It's in the medicine cabinet is what I want to say, what actually comes out is, "Cabinet."

"The one above the sink?" Emily asks but I don't think she's really expecting an answer because she has already dragged me across the bathroom and is currently looking through the medicine cabinet. Emily has to continue holding me upright, she has tried letting me stand on my own but my legs gave out under me again.

When I can't open the bottle of of mouthwash, Emily does it for me. It's like she's got three arms; She is standing behind me, propping me up and opening the bottle and pouring it into a glass. Normally having someone behind me would be freaking me out but right now, I just don't have the energy required to panic. So I gargle a few times and when my mouth finally feels fresh, I tap Emily's arm twice to let her know that I am finished and ready to leave the bathroom.

Emily says, "Okay Catherine. Let's try this again." She turns my unresisting body sideways, places one arm around my shoulders and one arm under my knees, then she lifts me up bridal style. I wrap my arms around her neck for balance. _I think the last person who carried me when I had a migraine was Spencer, I felt almost safe in his arms. It is confusing that I feel nearly as safe in Emily's arms. I guess I'm starting to trust her after all. Either that or my migraine-addled brain is misfiring._

Emily walks out of the bathroom into the darkened hall, I count the steps Emily is taking: one, two, three, four, five, six. It is calming to know exactly where I am in the apartment. When we arrive at the door to my bedroom, I feel Emily reach for the door handle, turn it and open my door. I flinch at the light poring into my room from the window. Emily can't seem to decide what to do with me; first she walks close to my bed, then the window, then halfway back to the bed. I think I know why she doesn't get too close to my bed. Una is probably sprawled out over my blankets. Anyone who doesn't know my cat seems to think she would probably attack if you get too close. This is not true, she is a big baby, but it is amusing to see adults terrified of a (nose to tail) 36" long cat.  
"That is one big cat." Emily whispers, awe colouring her voice.  
"Una." I whisper back.  
"The Una from Edmund Spencer's _The Faerie Queen_?" Emily asks. I can feel her laughing silently from where my head is resting on her shoulder.  
Blushing I mutter, "Celtic Una."  
"You named your cat lamb?" Emily's laughter is no longer silent, and it is nice to hear but it really hurts my head.

When I cover my ears with my hands, Emily stops laughing and sets me down on my bed. In eight steps Emily has crossed my room and is over by my window and closing my blackout blinds and curtains. I sigh in relief and remove my sunglasses slowly without opening my eyes when the sun is no longer streaming through my large window. I can hear Emily coming back in my direction. I reach out one arm, feeling for Una. There she is, "Move Una" I whisper, giving her a slight push but she is stubborn and won't move.

Having my eyes closed when there is another person around makes me feel vulnerable but I am so very photophobic, sensitive to light with my migraines that I have to swallow my fear. This is one of the reasons that I know how to get around the apartment by myself with my eyes closed. I never want to rely solely on someone else. I know that Emily is standing near me but out of arm's reach and I want to ask her to move Una but I don't have a chance because she scoops up my cat. I don't open my eyes to look, but I know the sounds Una makes when she is picked up. I also hear Una being placed on the hardwood floor and her growl of annoyance.

I try to stand up and succeed for all of ten seconds before my legs start wobbling and I have to sit down again. I hate migraines, I hate feeling vulnerable and I hate depending on someone else for things that I should be able to do on my own. So I am discomfited when Emily is the one to pull back my blankets and I am embarrassed when she helps me climb under the covers and tucks me in. But I am even more ashamed of my own actions when I grasp Emily's hand in mine before she can move away; I am ashamed because I don't want to be alone.

Emily tries to pull her hand away and when I don't let go she makes a surprised sound in the back of her throat. I want to explain that I don't want to be alone but I don't have the words. Most of the time it sucks, but sometimes it can be nice to have profilers in the family. Emily seems to know just what I need without me having to tell her; she stops trying to pry my fingers off her hand.

Emily runs her fingers through my hair away, moving it away from my face. When she kisses my forehead I freeze for a second before relaxing. This is exactly what Jen does when I have a migraine or I'm sick and I am struck with the realization that Emily would make a good mother. I wonder if she has kids, her file doesn't say.  
"Crierwy (kree-ree)," she whispers, "you need to let go of my hand for a minute okay?"

I ignore her question and try to place the meaning of the name, but I can't. I know it is Celtic, possibly Welsh. "Crierwy?" I open my eyes and look at Emily's face when I ask my question.

She blushes, looks away and does not answer.

I want to ask again but I let it go, I'm too tired. I'll just look it up later so I won't make Emily even more uncomfortable. I have a feeling that if I press, she'll run and I don't want her to leave yet.  
"Catherine," she starts again and I feel a pang of loss for my new nickname, "let go of my hand for a minute, I need to check something okay?"

I reluctantly release Emily's hand.

Emily runs her fingers through my hair one more time then stands up and leaves my room. I can hear her walking down the hall, back to the living room. I hear the cupboards close in the kitchen I also hear the fridge close; I have no idea what she is looking for. Then I hear Emily walking down the hall and into the bathroom, I hear the medicine cabinet squeak when it is closed. Una jumps up onto my bed and curls up on my feet, purring like a motor. It makes me cringe in pain. I move away from her, she follows my feet but the purring has slowed to a low continuous rumble, which is more bearable. I am so very tired that my body is shutting down to recover but I wait almost patiently for Emily to come back. I sigh in relief when she returns and I hope that she doesn't hear me.

Emily shuts my bedroom door and I feel a fleeting second of panic before I calm down by opening my eyes to look at Emily. I'm glad I can see relatively well in the dark because she moves towards me like a shadow. She is holding a glass of water, a pill bottle, probably my Advil and is wearing one of those new iPod things. I surprise myself when Emily sits down on the edge of my bed closest to me and I don't flinch.

Emily places the glass of water and the pill bottle on my night-side table. She lies down on her side, stretching out on my bed, and nudges a curious Una away from her with one foot. Emily reaches over and places the cool washcloth on my forehead. I can feel the hitch in Emily's breathing when I curl into her, resting my head on her shoulder, one hand latches on to her shirt and the other to her hand. I can feel her heartbeat, it's racing. I wonder what she's thinking.

Emily wraps her free arm around me and rests her head on mine. I am grateful that I cannot hear music coming from her earphones. I am as calm and comfortable as I am going to get. It is a nice feeling. As I am falling asleep, wrapped up in Emily's arms, it hits me; I'm already attached to her. I don't want her to leave, not ever. Crap, now what am I going to do?

* * *

All because of you,

I haven't slept in so long.

When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,

Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,

Inside these arms of yours.

- The Good Left Undone, Rise Against


	4. Meeting Catherine Part 2

AN: Final chapter. Thank you for your reviews. There will be more Emily and Catherine interaction in my next story, Post Minimal Loss.

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.

* * *

There is nothing I would not do for those who

are really my friends. I have no notion of

loving people by halves, it is not my nature.

- Jane Austen

* * *

November 25, 2006

I am having a really nice dream; it's summer and I'm lying in a field, watching the clouds roll by. I know it is a dream because there is no other explanation for why the sky is purple. Someone is lying next to me and humming a tune that I don't know. I roll over to look at them and I wake up when Catherine gets up from the couch. She has one hand covering her eyes and the other extended in front of her. I want to laugh but I notice the grimace on her face and the way she winces every time a bird chirps outside. Headache? I wonder. No. Not a headache. A migraine. I can hear her counting her steps under her breath. I take a moment to observe Catherine it is interesting to watch how she can move around the furniture with her eyes closed. It wouldn't surprise me if she has the entire apartment mapped out like this. I bet she knows the exact amount of steps to get from her bed to JJ's or from the shower to the fridge.

I follow Catherine down the hallway to the bathroom, turning off lights as I go. I scan the room before my eyes settle on Catherine who is standing at the sink. Her hair looks a little windswept, it has gotten loose from the braid she had it in before, and she is wearing a pair of blood red and black polarized sunglasses. I take a moment to appreciate the awesome sunglasses before I pay attention to what she is doing; she has just swallowed some pills from the cabinet. I hope they're for her migraine. Damn it, where is JJ. I don't know what to do. Catherine isn't my little sister or daughter; I shouldn't be here with her. She doesn't know me and she doesn't trust me, how in the world am I going to make this work?

When Catherine leans over the toilet and throws up, I have to steel my stomach so that I don't copy her actions. I am undecided as to how I should proceed. Should I go over and hold back her hair or should I stay as far away as possible. I know that she can sense my presence behind her because she freezes and her body language is screaming discomfort. Catherine's hyper-vigilance must be working overtime to function with a migraine. My maternal instincts win out; I half shut the bathroom door, trying to keep as much light away from Catherine as possible. I grab a washcloth from the shelf by the door and go over to the sink, turn on the cold water and wet the washcloth just enough to make it damp. I turn off the tap the instant I notice Catherine covering her ears. I guess the sound of the water hurts her head.

I walk over to Catherine, trying to be as quiet as possible. I know she is uncomfortable with my propinquity because she tenses again. I know that we don't know each other but it still hurts that Catherine thinks I would harm her. I sit down next to her, "Ça va?" I whisper and then wince internally at my question. I know she's not alright. Why did I ask that? I place the cold washcloth on the back of Catherine's neck, my fingers just barely touch her hairline and she starts shivering and stops breathing. I'm pretty sure that I am to blame.

We spend quite a while sitting on the floor in silence, I'm hoping that her medication kicks in and then I can send her to bed and call JJ. When Catherine's head starts drooping, I break the silence, "Okay Catherine, we need to get you back to your room. Do you think you can stand?"

Catherine shakes her head and covers her mouth with her hand.

I hope she is not going to throw up again. I rise up from the floor, my decision made; I need to get her to bed. "Alright then, I'm going to pick you up."

I can see her eyes snap open behind the lenses of her sunglasses; her "No!" is hoarse and panicked.

It causes pain in my chest. I'm scaring her. I don't want to scare her. I sigh quietly, "Catherine, we really need to get you to bed." I touch her shoulder; she flinches and yelps quietly, tears running down her face.

I take a deep breath and steel myself, I put my arm under one of her arms and around her shoulders, "You'll be so much more comfortable in bed." I start to lift her, "You don't want to stay here in this cold bathroom do you?"  
Catherine sobs, "No, Emmy wait. No. Please, wait. Please don't touch me."

It breaks my heart. I set her back down on the floor and step away, giving Catherine the distance required for her to calm down. Where is JJ? Shouldn't she be back from the store by now?

It takes a while but Catherine's breathing does eventually even out. She's blushing from embarrassment. "Brush teeth." She mumbles, not looking at me and struggling to stand up, she doesn't make it farther than the edge of the tub.

I want to look away and give Catherine the privacy she so obviously desires but caution prevents me from following my feelings. Obviously she cannot stand on her own. What if she fell over and hit her head? "Catherine I'm going to wrap one arm around your waist so that I can hold you up okay?" I say in a low voice. It's not really a question but she needs to think she has the option of saying no. I imagine that JJ would be rather upset with me if I let her little sister fall over or if I left her in the bathroom by herself. I cannot reconcile the idea of leaving an obviously pained Catherine alone with my conscience.  
Catherine's "Okay" is so quiet that I have to strain my ears to hear it.

I wrap one arm around Catherine's waist and lift her into a standing position. She takes one step forward and starts to crumple as her legs give out.  
"Maybe brushing your teeth isn't such a good idea." I say gently.  
"Brush teeth." She insists quietly.  
I bite my lip, "What about gargling? Do you have mouth wash?"  
Catherine's mouth starts moving but the only thing that comes out is: "Cabinet."

I think she's trying to tell me that the mouthwash is in the medicine cabinet, "The one above the sink?" I ask.

I try to let Catherine stand on her own when she makes a noise of protest at being dragged across the room. It doesn't work very well, her legs give out again. I know that I probably shouldn't but I lean her unresisting body against me while I look through the medicine cabinet for the mouthwash. I know that she must be uncomfortable but when she doesn't protest more than a quiet sigh I continue with my search. I wonder if she is simply too exhausted or too far into her migraine that she cannot protest.

I hand Catherine the bottle of mouthwash but when it is obvious that she cannot open it I take it back. Then grab a glass from the counter, open the bottle and pour some into the glass. I frown when I notice that Catherine cant hold onto the glass properly either so I help her by holding the glass to her mouth.

When Catherine taps my arm twice, I instinctively know that she is finished gargling. This means that I need to get her to bed. Is this what if feels like to be a mother or a big sister? To know what someone needs without them having to verbally ask.

I take deep breath and brace myself for crying or possibly a panic attack, "Okay Catherine, let's try this again." I turn her unresisting body sideways, places one arm around my shoulders and one arm under my knees, then I lift her up bridal style. There is no resistance and I smile internally when Catherine wraps her arms around my neck. Then I frown an instant later because I can feel just how thin Catherine is. I could count her ribs through her shirt if I was so inclined. Doesn't she eat? I'll have to remember to bring this up with JJ later.

I walk slowly out of the bathroom into the darkened hall, not because Catherine is heavy but because I don't want to startle her. I can hear her counting the steps I take under her breath, I wonder if counting my steps calms her down. JJ would know, but JJ isn't here to ask. When we arrive at the door to Catherine's bedroom, I reach for the door handle, turn it and open the silver painted door.

Catherine flinches after I open the door, I think it's because of the light pouring into the room from the huge window; it must be at least six feet wide. That is when I notice the big cat sprawled out over Catherine's bed. No one mentioned a cat to me before. I had not seen it at all last night. It's massive probably about three feet long. For a minute or two, I am unsure of what to do with Catherine; do I go over to the window and close the blinds with Catherine still in my arms or do I put her now next to that possibly ferocious cat.

I stall for time whispering to Catherine, "That is one big cat."  
"Una." She whispers back, there is a small smile on her face at the mention of the cat.  
"The Una from Edmund Spencer's _The Faerie Queen_?" I ask. I wonder if Catherine has read that story. She must have if she's studying English Literature. I laugh silently thinking of Una who is supposed to be a spiritual guide to the Redcrosse knight and who is juxtaposed against Duessa.

Catherine blushes, and then mutters, "Celtic Una."  
Wait a minute, I know what that name means, this time I cannot repress my laughter, and it bubbles out "You named your cat lamb?" Oh the irony! If I'm right, Catherine has a Kellas cat or a mixed breed of one. Kellas cats were thought at one time to eat sheep but probably only ever managed to carry off a sickly or newly born lamb.

Catherine covers her ears when I laugh and I regret my moment of carelessness. I sit her down on the bed and cross her bedroom to the window. While I am closing the blinds, I notice that it is a blackout blind; I wonder if Catherine has frequent migraines. I doubt that blackout blinds are a common feature in a teenager's room. I turn around after I have closed both the blind and curtains; Catherine is taking off her sunglasses but keeping her eyes closed. She reaches out with one arm and when her hand makes contact with that big cat she pushes a little and whispers, "Move Una."

I smile as I cross the room and when the cat doesn't move and I can't say that I am surprised. Una looks rather comfortable stretched out on Catherine's bed. I pick up Una gently and place her down on the floor. I am relieved when she doesn't scratch or bite, just a whine followed by a low warning growl of vexation.

I step forwards quickly because Catherine has tried to stand up while I was busy with Una and is now swaying and I can see her legs wobbling. She sits down abruptly, a blush colouring her face. I let it go without saying anything; there is no need to draw attention to her embarrassment. I pull back the blankets on Catherine's bed and help her to climb under them. I tuck her in and am surprised when she grabs my hand. I try to take my hand back but Catherine won't let go. There is a small sound that escapes my throat but I don't want to put a name to it.

The notion of no inter-team profiling had gone out the window a while back. I need to be able to read Catherine so that I know what she wants, what she needs. I've been profiling her since I saw her get up from the couch. Well, that is not entirely true, I have been profiling Catherine but I have also had to stop compartmentalizing and let a few of my walls down. Catherine isn't an unsub, she's just a teenager with a migraine. Someone who is supposed to be family, just like the team. And that needs to count for something; I don't have enough family to turn down the offer from this small fay-like child.

I stop trying to pry my hand away from Catherine's death grip. I think I will like having her as part of my 'family'. I run my fingers through her hair, moving it away from her face. Before I realize what I'm doing, I have kissed Catherine's forehead and whispered "Crierwy (kree-ree), you need to let go of my hand for a minute okay?"  
Catherine's eyes open and I am startled by their colour, a blue grey combination that seems to be changing even as I watch. "Crierwy?" she asks me.  
I blush, damn it. Why did I use that name? It slipped out; it wasn't supposed to be vocalized. I cannot answer her aloud so I answer her inside my head; _Crierwy means treasure. You, my dear Catherine are a treasure, the first person in a long time that makes me feel like I belong somewhere. No one since Matthew- I stop myself shot. There is no need to go there Emily, stop thinking about that._

"Catherine, let go of my hand for a minute, I need to check something okay?" I can't help but feel like I am running away, even if I'm not really going to go anywhere. I need a few minutes to regain my composure.

She releases my hand and I run my fingers through her hair one more time, I hope it is a comforting gesture.

I tell myself that I am not fleeing as I move quickly through the apartment. I stop in the living room for a minute to grab my phone and iPod. I send off a text to JJ "Where are you?" I hope that my panic is not evident to her when she reads the text. When I get to the kitchen, I open the cupboards, trying to find a glass, and then I open the fridge to get some water. Next is the bathroom where I wet the washcloth with cool water again and grab the Advil that I noticed earlier out of the medicine cabinet. I stop at the bedroom doorframe, scared to enter, Catherine looks so vulnerable and tiny, lying there in her big bed.

I can hear Catherine sigh quietly when she notices me in the doorway so I swallow my fear and cross the threshold. I shut the door quietly and I tiptoe across the room, trying to make as little noise as possible. I sit down on the edge of the bed closest to Catherine less than arm's reach away and put the Advil and water on nightstand next to Catherine's bed. She doesn't flinch and I have to wonder if the arms' reach rule isn't a little redundant right now. She obviously wants me around. I really should look up Post Traumatic Stress when I get home so that I'll know what to do. I suppose I could always ask JJ or Reid like Catherine suggested earlier today.

I lie down on Catherine's bed. Stretching out on my side so that I can keep her face in view and not do anything to upset her or trigger a panic attack. Una who is lying on Catherine's feet gets up and tries to climb onto my legs; I push her away with my foot gently. I lean over Catherine, hoping that this doesn't bother her too much to put the cool washcloth back onto her forehead. My breath hitches and I feel rather happy when Catherine curls into me, attempting to rest her head on my shoulder. I lie down on my back so that I can accommodate her silent and unusual request for comfort.

It seems to be working because Catherine's head is now resting on my shoulder and part of my t-shirt is clenched in one hand while the other hand has its fingers laced through mine. I wrap my other arm around Catherine and rest my head on hers. My heart is racing and I am so very worried that I will mess this up. Giving comfort like this is new to me and I don't want to scare her. I also don't want JJ to find me asleep in bed with her sister, even if I am lying on top of the covers.

I listen to my music and watch Catherine's body shut down as she falls asleep. Then I take a few minutes to observe and profile her room. The walls are two walls are silver and the curtains covering the window are black. One wall, the small one, closest to the door is completely covered by bookshelves, it might be silver behind the shelves but I cannot tell because the shelves are covered in books. There are a few pictures on the top shelf but I am too far away to see them properly. The wall opposite the bookshelves has the window and a desk. The bed, where we are lying is between the books and the window with the desk in the far corner of the wall. A gorgeous mural of a forest during a full moon covers the wall opposite the bed. I can just pick out a few animals hidden between the trees and something that I want to call a faerie circle but surely I am mistaken.

The curtains and blackout blind are obviously necessary in light of Catherine's migraines but I can't help but wonder if they are also a statement. Silver is a cool colour, it is not warm like yellow or red or orange but maybe it is calming to Catherine. It has to mean something or she wouldn't have picked it for her walls. In the Celtic tradition, silver means a connection of the earthly and heavenly realms, or otherworld. Maybe I was right about the faerie circle in the mural after all. I notice that there is no red or green in her room, not even in the painting of the forest. Those are faerie colours and red is also the Celtic colour or death.

All of the furniture is wooden but painted black. The contrast of the silver walls and black furniture is awe-inspiring. The colour black absorbs all the light without reflecting any of its colours back. In North American tradition, black is associated with mystery, death, mourning and the underworld. The full bookshelves show both a love of reading and desire for knowledge. I would have to get out of bed and actually look at the book titles to know more.

The mural is gorgeous. I know that in Celtic legends, trees guard sacred wells and provide forms of healing, shelter, and wisdom and were often the entrance to the realms of the Gods or the Faerie Otherworld. Forests are always mysterious; you never know what you might find in one. I stare at Catherine's forest mural for a long time, after a while I notice that there is a stone well hidden in the trees. I don't know where the thought comes from but I wonder if Catherine ever feels like she is drowning.

I wonder if the pictures on top of the bookshelves are of Catherine and JJ's family, not just the team family, but also their parents. Maybe Catherine has friends from school up there, I really want to take a look at the pictures but I restrain my curiosity, I've already stepped so far over the no inter-team profiling line that it's no longer in sight.

I am starting to drift off when I hear the apartment door open and I tense immediately. I feel like a naughty child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, but I haven't done anything wrong. If anything, I have done everything right. I took care of Catherine just like JJ would have if she had been home.

With my arm lying protectively over Catherine and her head resting on my shoulder, her hand attached to my t-shirt and her other hand laced through mine, I can't figure out how to disentangle Catherine from myself without waking her up. She's only been asleep for a little over a half hour. I don't want to wake her if I don't have to.

I can hear JJ walking down the hall towards the bedroom. My stomach is in knots.

She arrives at the bedroom door and stops short, observing us, "Emily?" She questions, her voice filled with incredulity.

"Uh, hi JJ." I try to stop the blush from colouring my face.  
She raises one perfectly plucked, blonde eyebrow.

"Catherine has a migraine." I whisper, still fighting to control the blush rising up my cheeks.  
She makes a noise that sounds like "Mhm." JJ walks into Catherine's bedroom, closer to the bed with a blank look on her face.  
I swallow, "I didn't do anything, I swear."

She giggles and I realize that I've been had. She tricked me. "Relax Emily, it's okay."

I sigh, there is no anger in me at being tricked, just relief that I'm not going to be reamed out for lying in bed with my colleague's little sister.

"I was expecting something like this to happen," She whispers, "Catherine is due for another migraine. They always happen around this time of year when the weather changes and she's been getting very little sleep and that never helps."  
"Um JJ," I pause, trying to figure out how to ask my question, "how am I supposed to get Catherine to let go of me without waking her up?"  
She smiles at me, "You've been really good with her Emily, Thank you. Unfortunately, you won't be able to get Catherine to let go of you without waking her up. How long has she been asleep?"

I smile back at her happy that she approves. "About a half hour."  
JJ frowns a little, "Okay," she pauses, "well, she won't be waking up on her own anytime soon. Her body pretty much shuts down when she has a migraine. Even her hyper-vigilance is lessened."  
The look that fills JJ's face when she talks about Catherine is full of love but it is tinged with sorrow. I want to ask her questions about what happened to Catherine but right now is definitely not the time for difficult questions about the little girl sleeping in my arms.  
"So, what am I supposed to do then?" I ask, biting my lip.  
"I'm going to help you move her over a little bit then I'm going to climb into bed with the two of you." She smiles and moves closer to the bed to do just that.

Once we move Catherine over enough, JJ slips into the bed behind her little sister.  
JJ looks at me with a measuring gaze, "You didn't have anything else planned today did you?"  
I shake my head slightly, "No."  
JJ runs her fingers through Catherine's long blonde hair, "Good, sometimes she takes forever to wake up."  
I can't help but feel that I have passed some sort of unwritten, unknown test. It makes me smile internally.

Catherine makes a strange noise in her sleep. I swear she must know that JJ is here because she releases my hand where our fingers were laced together and reaches out with that same hand towards JJ. I can see JJ smiling in the small amount of light coming into the room from the hallway.

JJ reaches out for her little sister's hand and says, "Hello princess." When Catherine's questing hand finds purchase on JJ's t-shirt.

JJ and I grin at each other; Catherine has unknowingly tied the three of us together. We are family.

* * *

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

- A.A. Milne


End file.
